Observations From A Pandemic
With a new year dawning a fresh coat of possibilities, it’s only natural to reflect and make changes to accommodate your best life. With all that occurred in 2020, every single person has been forever changed. While Covid is still very much a thing, and lockdowns are still at play, we have grown so much as a collective by enduring last year’s chaos. So moving into a new year brings a lot more reflection than previously and we should definitely be taking advantage.
One thing that has really impacted me this last year has been my mindset. Covid literally forced us into completely unknown territory and, quite frankly, scared the shit out of us. Literally. We couldn’t find any toilet paper for months! Add on all the social injustice, political mayhem from an election year, quarantines, economical struggles, etc. and it’s easy to see just how insane you may end up after all of it. Some of us went completely mad and then some of us started to reflect inward. The more and more 2020 kicked me down, the more motivated I became to overcoming the hardship. I wasn’t going to allow myself to be a victim anymore. I wasn’t going to blame others or even the pandemic for things that were 100% on me. I was finally unraveling my own chaos. My inner turmoil.
I decided to implement meditation into my daily routine. More quiet, less distractions. I realized that I spent so much of my life completely distracted from what I truly want in life. Television has always been my crutch. I can watch hours upon hours of anything and find absolute joy. But quarantine turned that completely on its head. Instead of finding joy anymore, I was becoming so incredibly bored. There has to be more to do! I took for granted all the parties and the concerts and the shows. All the get-togethers with friends, dinners, outings. None of these activities were available anymore so it was time to get creative.
Meditation provided different tools that I didn’t even know I needed. Tools like asking myself why I felt how I did. Or simply asking myself how I felt at all! I started to become more aware. And this awareness brought a sense of discipline. Now that I am aware, I can start to make the changes. And with changes comes commitment. I committed to my morning routine. Meditation became something I craved every day and wanted nothing but silence and introspection for days on end. This was my way of meeting myself again. I got to know myself that much better. I was finally tuning in.
With this newfound awareness, I noticed how I felt when I ate certain foods; things like sugar, dairy, processed-boxed-goodies. I started making changes there as well. I stopped eating foods that made me feel bloated, gave me heartburn, and most importantly contributed to a lethargic lifestyle. I can’t even count the number of times you could catch me on the couch with a family size bag of chips or a full bowl of puppy chow just waiting for me to really go all the way that night. And you know I did. Every time!
I noticed how I felt on days I missed my meditation or workout compared to the days I didn’t. I noticed my habits when I got home from work and plopped on the couch for another episode of You’ve Already Seen This. I noticed when I got angry and asked myself what triggered that emotion. I noticed my perspective on situations and wondered if there was another point of view. I noticed and noticed and noticed. I kept on noticing. Just observing.
And then finally, it all just hit me- an epiphany. No, just kidding. That’s not at all how it works. It’s a fluid spectrum, this noticing. It doesn’t mean you are finally free from any negative emotions or encounters or triggers or anything. It doesn’t mean you are perfect in your routines and get everything done every single day. It doesn’t mean you eat all the right foods and always feel amazing. It simply means you are aware. And being aware means having the capacity to make changes. Each moment is an opportunity for you to choose. Will you choose an apple or a candy bar? A workout or a movie? A reaction or a response? You have all the power and being aware allows you to make the choices that best align with you.
Notice how you feel in your body. In your mind. And then truly listen. The rest will soon follow.
