3 Realizations That Improved My Meditation Practice
Recently I’ve been reading a book all about mindfulness titled Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn (highly recommend!). It was one of those reads that I thought I didn’t need because I already know about mindfulness and different techniques to embody it (hello, ego). However as I dipped further into the chapters I realized this was a completely different view of meditation than what I was previously thinking or even experiencing. With this newfound idea in my head of what meditation means to me, I found quality in my practice and gained motivation to continue on, to keep pushing. To give you an idea of what I am talking about, I put together some tips that helped me change my perspective and gain more out of my meditation practice.
Before reading this book, I had the idea of meditation as clearing the mind by deep breathing. Yes, thoughts will pop up, but in meditation it is your job to push them away, to keep the mind clear and thought-free, maintaining the breath. To simply “be”. While this seemed like the norm and how others had told me to practice, somehow it became too difficult to even attempt. I just kept thinking and thinking and thinking some more. I felt so disappointed in myself that I couldn’t sustain this practice that had once led me to moments of such inner peace. I felt like I was doing it all wrong, I messed up somehow, or I wasn’t understanding it. Breathing felt so damn difficult and that didn’t make sense to me. How can breathing be hard? It’s so natural.
Realization number one:
There is no right way to meditate.
Meditation comes in all shapes and sizes, all feelings and thoughts, all ideas welcome. You don’t have to push thoughts away. All you have to do is notice. Noticing and observing is your only job in meditation. There is no need to change those thoughts, or try to make them more positive, or even push them away to have no thoughts at all. Just notice whatever comes up. No judgements, no desires, no expectations. Simply noticing is all it takes. Once I realized this, my entire practice shifted into more meaningful experiences. It doesn’t mean I have deep and profound meditations now, only that I can find myself not feeling the pressure anymore. It quite literally is non-doing.
Realization number two:
Deep breathing is not a requirement.
This was so hard for me because deep breathing is not really something we do frequently so slowing your breath, while can be absolutely beneficial, caused me more thinking and more feelings of “I’m not doing this right”. But again, this was all I knew when it came to meditation. Always coming back to your breath as a way to stay focused on non-thinking. On releasing the thoughts you don’t want. Keep focusing on those deep breaths. But breathing became difficult and then my thoughts became scattered and all over the place. I lost all control and out of discomfort, decided to stop. The idea that you don’t have to control your breath was huge for me. Deep breathing felt like I was either holding my breath or not breathing deep enough. Not having to focus on breathing in that way made room for me to just notice. No agenda, no work, just notice. Notice breath if you do, but don’t worry if you don’t.
Realization number three:
Nature is our greatest resource to learn about ourselves and mindset.
The author does a fantastic job of explaining how we can look to nature as a means of inspiration in our own practice. Embodying characteristics of mountains, lakes, trees, etc. help us to experience more simply our being. Again, there is no agenda, just to be. To notice this moment fully. To be aware of here and now. These exquisite beauties before us in the world are showing us the way every moment. Mountains show us to be still in the face of whatever weather comes our way, whatever storm. Trees remind us to stand tall but not stiff, to allow our leaves to flow with the wind. Lakes show us how we can reflect on our emotions that mirror for us ourselves. When we take a moment to appreciate the wonders surrounding us, we can begin to appreciate ourselves as whole beings.
With these newfound perspectives on what it means to meditate, I felt so much more at ease with my practice. There no longer was this looming pressure of trying to do it right, to have some sort of epiphany moment every time, to find deep inner peace. It was easier in a way, which sometimes seems like the last way to describe meditation. But after forcing it for so long, the ability to let it all go and just be with myself in the moment was encouraging. I find myself meditating in moments throughout my day, just noticing where I am and how I am feeling in the moment. It could be at work, on my drive home, at the grocery store, in the park. I simply notice where I am in this moment and that’s all. No agenda.
